In this day, where everyone can keep up with everyone, even on a more-often-than daily basis, we share more than just information with others--we share our lives.
And it is when someone we know dies that people in my generation can practically immediately glimpse the connections and impact that one person had on so many others. Facebook becomes a collective ground for tributes, memories and yes, the sharing of bad news. Twitter, in some ways, gathers greater breadth of mourners who trend the topic of this loss. In ways that many of our parents do not understand still, we can connect and share our feelings during the happiest moments of our lives, as well as the saddest.
Tonight, when I learned that a former high school classmate died, I did what people around my age do: I went on Facebook to see who else had heard. I got a few messages, and then saw the posts filing up my newsfeed. A memorial began on the man's Facebook page. Calls for and promises of prayers for his family and friends have sprouted like wildflowers. Even if we haven't talked to some people in a long time, we connect again right here, online.
There are no different feelings. Everything is still very real. But perhaps we understand that we are not in this life alone and we are not forgotten. We will still come together outside of social media. A hug is still the best support we can give another. It is impossible to get a grasp of the entire situation, but we can see that there are many like us, who struggle and mourn.
This look at things isn't meant to demean the loss of my classmate in any way. I hope it allows us to see how much we do share with one another, and that we have so much to live for, and so many people who care about us. I hadn't thought about it until now, but social media is just the newest avenue for us to show love...and there is plenty of it tonight.
Rest in peace, Steve.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Think Before You Add Your Two Cents
Today, a kind of strange thing happened to me.
I was sitting outside at a cafe with my cousin getting breakfast this morning, which was fun and normal. My cousin, a 25-year old female, went inside to the cafe (the reason for which, I don't remember, nor is relevant). While she was inside, a man across the street hollered at me and asked, "Hey man, is that you?!" I thought he was talking about the car parked near our table, but he said he meant the girl. I responded by saying yeah, but she's just my cousin. I don't think he heard the second part, because he nodded, laughed and congratulated me. "Nice job, man!"
My cousin re-joined me seconds later and I explained what happened. She laughed along with me. Literally, as soon as this happened, a guy drove past in his truck and screamed out of his window at me "You fucking faggot!" and sped off. I was caught a little off guard until I remembered I was wearing a pair of pink summer shorts, which I suppose might be showy enough to swing one man's opinion of my sexual orientation, which in turn apparently infuriated him to the point where he had to curse at me. Whatever. That's not my point.
Aside from the stark contrast in the two comments that were made to me from two totally different people in a two minute time span, I am a little baffled that these people felt compelled to not only make their own judgments about me, but to confront me with them. Anyone who knows me also knows that I am not dating my cousin and I am not gay; I could care less that people assumed these things about me, I just find it funny that these people thought they had to say something about it.
At the risk of devolving into some snowballing assumption, I wonder if there would be fewer conflicts in the world if people left their assumptions and comments to themselves. I did not feel personally attacked, but others might. I'm pretty comfortable with the person that I am, but some people aren't, and comments like the ones I heard today could be damaging, or at the very least bothersome.
I laugh when I think that just from my sitting outside at breakfast this morning, one person accused me of being straight and another accused me of being gay, just by merely looking at me in passing. I shrug it off and move on with my day, my life, etc. but I have to wonder what provoked these people into saying anything at all, much less making a judgment on me. It was a quick stream of events in my day, but it will be something that sticks with me for a while...
I was sitting outside at a cafe with my cousin getting breakfast this morning, which was fun and normal. My cousin, a 25-year old female, went inside to the cafe (the reason for which, I don't remember, nor is relevant). While she was inside, a man across the street hollered at me and asked, "Hey man, is that you?!" I thought he was talking about the car parked near our table, but he said he meant the girl. I responded by saying yeah, but she's just my cousin. I don't think he heard the second part, because he nodded, laughed and congratulated me. "Nice job, man!"
My cousin re-joined me seconds later and I explained what happened. She laughed along with me. Literally, as soon as this happened, a guy drove past in his truck and screamed out of his window at me "You fucking faggot!" and sped off. I was caught a little off guard until I remembered I was wearing a pair of pink summer shorts, which I suppose might be showy enough to swing one man's opinion of my sexual orientation, which in turn apparently infuriated him to the point where he had to curse at me. Whatever. That's not my point.
Aside from the stark contrast in the two comments that were made to me from two totally different people in a two minute time span, I am a little baffled that these people felt compelled to not only make their own judgments about me, but to confront me with them. Anyone who knows me also knows that I am not dating my cousin and I am not gay; I could care less that people assumed these things about me, I just find it funny that these people thought they had to say something about it.
At the risk of devolving into some snowballing assumption, I wonder if there would be fewer conflicts in the world if people left their assumptions and comments to themselves. I did not feel personally attacked, but others might. I'm pretty comfortable with the person that I am, but some people aren't, and comments like the ones I heard today could be damaging, or at the very least bothersome.
I laugh when I think that just from my sitting outside at breakfast this morning, one person accused me of being straight and another accused me of being gay, just by merely looking at me in passing. I shrug it off and move on with my day, my life, etc. but I have to wonder what provoked these people into saying anything at all, much less making a judgment on me. It was a quick stream of events in my day, but it will be something that sticks with me for a while...
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Fair Farewells
It is finals week here at Marietta College, and we are starting to say goodbye. We say goodbye to a school year, to friends who we will greet again come August, to textbooks and papers (for now). But the thing that I am having a hard time facing is the goodbye to the senior class I am starting to make.
Perhaps it is finally being an upperclassman that makes me feel this way, but the graduation of the Class of 2012 from Marietta College is hitting me pretty hard. I know many of these seniors well, and it's hard for me to imagine going to college without these people. This is the largest class of students I have looked up to over my three years, and to see them leave creates an emptiness I can't describe.
I feel like these people have forged a path for me, and now I have to pick up where they collectively leave off. At times, I wonder how I am supposed to be a senior next year; where are these people going to be to inspire me and show me what to do? Why are they going away?
Call me sappy, but I am struggling to accept that so many people are going to leave. And these people are headed to do the most amazing things in the most amazing places. They are going to profoundly and positively influence so many people; it would be selfish to expect them to do any less. Maybe I get too emotionally attached...
And yet, the Class of 2012 is a powerful, dynamic and vibrant one. These are people who challenge the status quo, who work for the good of those around them, who do a job and do it well. These are the people who have helped make me who I am.
So, if you are a senior, congratulations. You have earned everything your exciting future will bring you, and more. I hope you will find success and enjoyment in your days to come and will look back fondly upon your days at Marietta College, or at least upon the friendships you made that ultimately made your experience what it was. Good luck in the beginning stages of your post-undergrad years; I know you will all do well and persevere in the face of challenges and obstacles that might enter into your path. And thank you, for being a friend to me, and leaving an impact on me that will not wash off or fade away. Thank you for showing me the way when I did not know it was there, and pushing me to reach higher than I ever would have reached. You are incredible people, and I will miss you.
-Connor
Perhaps it is finally being an upperclassman that makes me feel this way, but the graduation of the Class of 2012 from Marietta College is hitting me pretty hard. I know many of these seniors well, and it's hard for me to imagine going to college without these people. This is the largest class of students I have looked up to over my three years, and to see them leave creates an emptiness I can't describe.
I feel like these people have forged a path for me, and now I have to pick up where they collectively leave off. At times, I wonder how I am supposed to be a senior next year; where are these people going to be to inspire me and show me what to do? Why are they going away?
Call me sappy, but I am struggling to accept that so many people are going to leave. And these people are headed to do the most amazing things in the most amazing places. They are going to profoundly and positively influence so many people; it would be selfish to expect them to do any less. Maybe I get too emotionally attached...
And yet, the Class of 2012 is a powerful, dynamic and vibrant one. These are people who challenge the status quo, who work for the good of those around them, who do a job and do it well. These are the people who have helped make me who I am.
So, if you are a senior, congratulations. You have earned everything your exciting future will bring you, and more. I hope you will find success and enjoyment in your days to come and will look back fondly upon your days at Marietta College, or at least upon the friendships you made that ultimately made your experience what it was. Good luck in the beginning stages of your post-undergrad years; I know you will all do well and persevere in the face of challenges and obstacles that might enter into your path. And thank you, for being a friend to me, and leaving an impact on me that will not wash off or fade away. Thank you for showing me the way when I did not know it was there, and pushing me to reach higher than I ever would have reached. You are incredible people, and I will miss you.
-Connor
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Where You Go is Rarely Where You Thought You'd Ever Be
Three years ago I submitted my $200 registration deposit to Marietta College, begrudgingly. I had dreamed of attending several other colleges before Marietta, but financial security and the ability to row competitively ultimately led to my decision. On senior college declaration day, I wore a plain white t-shirt on which I drew the state of Ohio, wrote "MARIETTA COLLEGE" in the center, and put a little red star in the southeast corner. I could tell people that I was going to Marietta, but without much of the typical enthusiasm. That was three years ago.
Today, I find myself in a place I never expected. Three years in, and approaching my fourth and final one, I have made incredible friends, been through unbelievable experiences and learned important and unforgettable lessons. In simplest terms, I have found that I am proud to go to Marietta College. My new position as president-elect of the student body is the culmination of what I have made out of my experience at a college I hardly dreamed of attending. And as I undertake this new, huge role, I remember how I felt at the end of my senior year of high school and understand that is the way many students feel now; they are frustrated, concerned and far from proud of their alma mater. It can't continue.
There have been times in the past few weeks where I have thought that perhaps I was trying to campaign for too many things, where I wondered if my vision was too grand to tackle. Yet since the election I am determined to take on the challenges that students face or are concerned about most, and start moving us forward. I hope students can trust in Student Senate next year to work for them and to see concrete evidence to the work of our collective efforts. Dan, Caleb and I have heard a lot...and fortunately, so has the administration. I believe they will work with us to cultivate and environment where students feel that their concerns and issues matter, and where students will be proud to be members of the Long Blue Line.
That being said, we will need everyone's help. This is not the job of a 4-person executive board, but of 1,400 students. The diversity workshop this past week showed how important the commitment of each person is to making a significant change; so I hope people won't shy away from taking up the causes that matter to them most. I hope we have more people running for senator positions, attending Senate meetings simply for their own interest, reading the Senate minutes, starting more conversations with administrators and other students, working to leave their college in a better place than it is currently.
We do go to a good school. Morale is just low; people can take pride in going to a school where people care enough to say their piece at Student Speak Out, chalk their beliefs on the mall, run for Senate positions, or simply listen to a friend voice concerns. Even faculty are eager to work with us! We can build the collaboration, the positive attitudes, the pride of Marietta College. Did I ever see myself in this position? Not for a long time, no. But here we are, so let's take advantage of this great opportunity and make something great out of it!
I am inspired and honored by the confidence bestowed upon me by my peers through this election. I will do everything in my power not to let you down during my time as President. Chins up, MC. Chins up, and charge on!
Today, I find myself in a place I never expected. Three years in, and approaching my fourth and final one, I have made incredible friends, been through unbelievable experiences and learned important and unforgettable lessons. In simplest terms, I have found that I am proud to go to Marietta College. My new position as president-elect of the student body is the culmination of what I have made out of my experience at a college I hardly dreamed of attending. And as I undertake this new, huge role, I remember how I felt at the end of my senior year of high school and understand that is the way many students feel now; they are frustrated, concerned and far from proud of their alma mater. It can't continue.
There have been times in the past few weeks where I have thought that perhaps I was trying to campaign for too many things, where I wondered if my vision was too grand to tackle. Yet since the election I am determined to take on the challenges that students face or are concerned about most, and start moving us forward. I hope students can trust in Student Senate next year to work for them and to see concrete evidence to the work of our collective efforts. Dan, Caleb and I have heard a lot...and fortunately, so has the administration. I believe they will work with us to cultivate and environment where students feel that their concerns and issues matter, and where students will be proud to be members of the Long Blue Line.
That being said, we will need everyone's help. This is not the job of a 4-person executive board, but of 1,400 students. The diversity workshop this past week showed how important the commitment of each person is to making a significant change; so I hope people won't shy away from taking up the causes that matter to them most. I hope we have more people running for senator positions, attending Senate meetings simply for their own interest, reading the Senate minutes, starting more conversations with administrators and other students, working to leave their college in a better place than it is currently.
We do go to a good school. Morale is just low; people can take pride in going to a school where people care enough to say their piece at Student Speak Out, chalk their beliefs on the mall, run for Senate positions, or simply listen to a friend voice concerns. Even faculty are eager to work with us! We can build the collaboration, the positive attitudes, the pride of Marietta College. Did I ever see myself in this position? Not for a long time, no. But here we are, so let's take advantage of this great opportunity and make something great out of it!
I am inspired and honored by the confidence bestowed upon me by my peers through this election. I will do everything in my power not to let you down during my time as President. Chins up, MC. Chins up, and charge on!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Taking Up the Talk
The commercials say: "Depression hurts, Cymbalta can help." Well, unfortunately, we're not all pharmacists or psychiatrists, but when it comes to an issue I have dealt with many times in my life--depression--there is something we can do: talk about it.
I was reminded of how depression can affect people this past week when I learned that a friend was dealing with it. My experiences as someone who talks with people who have depression run the gamut. I understand that it can make life extraordinarily complicated, confusing and frustrating. Often, I believe that depression can just be a passing phase; yet I am aware that for many people it isn't and requires more than just a prescription.
This is why we need to talk. Or perhaps we had better listen first. Regardless, I tend to believe that it is our responsibility as friends, family, colleagues, etc. to broach this topic with the person and allow them to unload some of their stress onto us. Perhaps the person just needs to know that what they are feeling is not unusual, or maybe they just need to know that someone else is aware of their problems. It's definitely situational, and requires us as listeners to be flexible, but if we can lighten someone's load, I believe that we can be extremely effective in lessening the wear and tear of depression.
I'm not calling this medical advice, or asking for anyone to think of me as an expert. For me, though, this is one of those issues people my age and beyond have serious issues dealing with and I believe that more people should be proactive in trying to alleviate the negative effects of depression. It's amazing what a conversation can do for someone's spirits, and for your knowledge of their situation. Maybe you can redirect them to someone else who has had a similar problem or offer advice of your own. Regardless, I want to hope that just talking with someone with depression will remind them that they are not alone and that you are eager and willing to help them.
I was reminded of how depression can affect people this past week when I learned that a friend was dealing with it. My experiences as someone who talks with people who have depression run the gamut. I understand that it can make life extraordinarily complicated, confusing and frustrating. Often, I believe that depression can just be a passing phase; yet I am aware that for many people it isn't and requires more than just a prescription.
This is why we need to talk. Or perhaps we had better listen first. Regardless, I tend to believe that it is our responsibility as friends, family, colleagues, etc. to broach this topic with the person and allow them to unload some of their stress onto us. Perhaps the person just needs to know that what they are feeling is not unusual, or maybe they just need to know that someone else is aware of their problems. It's definitely situational, and requires us as listeners to be flexible, but if we can lighten someone's load, I believe that we can be extremely effective in lessening the wear and tear of depression.
I'm not calling this medical advice, or asking for anyone to think of me as an expert. For me, though, this is one of those issues people my age and beyond have serious issues dealing with and I believe that more people should be proactive in trying to alleviate the negative effects of depression. It's amazing what a conversation can do for someone's spirits, and for your knowledge of their situation. Maybe you can redirect them to someone else who has had a similar problem or offer advice of your own. Regardless, I want to hope that just talking with someone with depression will remind them that they are not alone and that you are eager and willing to help them.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Politically Disillusioned
Okay, so it's been a little while since I've had a post, but duty has called elsewhere this semester (internships, newspaper articles, rowing, class and EXCEL planning to name a few).
I was prodded into posting about politics--a topic I loathe in everyday discussion--by recent postings on Facebook by friends. I voted in the 2008 election and prepared myself well for the decision I made (which I have only shared in confidence with a few close friends). I understand and accept that politics is" required" for the functioning of our democracy and our country; at a basic level, the discussion and debate and rallying should be useful in proving who is most qualified and prepared to serve our country in many capacities.
However, I am becoming increasingly disillusioned with how members of our country's political parties conduct their everyday business. As far as I'm convinced, each side is as guilty as the other. I truly believe that more often than not, what is done or said is more for purposes of gaining power rather than furthering or helping out our nation. Now I understand that being "in power" is typically necessary for creating change, at least when it comes to the higher national offices, yet I just do not see where this fight for power evolves into making a difference. I don't want a politician by trade running this country. Sure, I want someone who knows what is going on and understands it, and many politicians fit this description. But I just don't see their fallibility ever show, or their party's.
I feel like we rarely see candidates who have made mistakes or changed their minds and admit it. Usually I see hypocrites instead of helpers. Do I want a candidate for president or any office who messes up? No. But I accept and understand that it happens, and I would rather see someone admit it and explain what he/she learned from that than brush it under the rug or pass blame off elsewhere.
Maybe I'm just complaining about something that isn't really a problem and that my perception of things is skewed. All I know is I seem to be finding more people who are turned off by any political discussion because it all seems so messed up or leads to conflict instead of resolution. I am a die-hard Independent, so don't bother asking me who I voted for 4 years ago or who I am voting for this year (I cringe when I think about having such limited options to choose from, R or D).
And I know this little memo doesn't exactly comply with the "if you have a problem with something, work to change it" mantra, but I'm hoping to perhaps draw some of my like-minded friends out of the woodwork and maybe learn a little something useful about what can best help our country in any number of areas. If I'm alone, cool, I'll just keep to myself from now on regarding this. But if I have any sympathizers, I would enjoy hearing your take on things. Cheers.
I was prodded into posting about politics--a topic I loathe in everyday discussion--by recent postings on Facebook by friends. I voted in the 2008 election and prepared myself well for the decision I made (which I have only shared in confidence with a few close friends). I understand and accept that politics is" required" for the functioning of our democracy and our country; at a basic level, the discussion and debate and rallying should be useful in proving who is most qualified and prepared to serve our country in many capacities.
However, I am becoming increasingly disillusioned with how members of our country's political parties conduct their everyday business. As far as I'm convinced, each side is as guilty as the other. I truly believe that more often than not, what is done or said is more for purposes of gaining power rather than furthering or helping out our nation. Now I understand that being "in power" is typically necessary for creating change, at least when it comes to the higher national offices, yet I just do not see where this fight for power evolves into making a difference. I don't want a politician by trade running this country. Sure, I want someone who knows what is going on and understands it, and many politicians fit this description. But I just don't see their fallibility ever show, or their party's.
I feel like we rarely see candidates who have made mistakes or changed their minds and admit it. Usually I see hypocrites instead of helpers. Do I want a candidate for president or any office who messes up? No. But I accept and understand that it happens, and I would rather see someone admit it and explain what he/she learned from that than brush it under the rug or pass blame off elsewhere.
Maybe I'm just complaining about something that isn't really a problem and that my perception of things is skewed. All I know is I seem to be finding more people who are turned off by any political discussion because it all seems so messed up or leads to conflict instead of resolution. I am a die-hard Independent, so don't bother asking me who I voted for 4 years ago or who I am voting for this year (I cringe when I think about having such limited options to choose from, R or D).
And I know this little memo doesn't exactly comply with the "if you have a problem with something, work to change it" mantra, but I'm hoping to perhaps draw some of my like-minded friends out of the woodwork and maybe learn a little something useful about what can best help our country in any number of areas. If I'm alone, cool, I'll just keep to myself from now on regarding this. But if I have any sympathizers, I would enjoy hearing your take on things. Cheers.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Always a Place to Hang My Hat
It had been just over a year since I last visited, but it was if only a week had passed when I returned to my high school, St. Ignatius, today. I visited teachers, priests, campus ministers, college counselors and other faculty members who were more than happy to take some time out of a busy finals week to chat with me and catch up. I was in heaven.
Some people might not understand why I feel so passionate about my high school, especially since many people dislike their high school experience or see high school pride as a refusal to grow up. However, if I can emphasize the importance my high school had on my formation as a person, maybe they can begin to comprehend it. I consider my four years of high school as the best four years of my life. During that time I met some of the most amazing friends, was guided by countless inspiring mentors, learned some extremely valuable lessons, was given the most incredible of opportunities, and carried on a family legacy which goes back to both of my grandfathers. That was high school for me; in a word, it was...indescribable.
My visit today was a reminder that it was always be a place where I can hang my hat, as one of my former theology teachers said. My conversation with the incomparable Fr. Frank Canfield was both invigorating and relaxing. The many other people I spoke with today reinforced my dream deferred: to return to my alma mater to teach and coach. Granted, I have decided to pursue another dream first in journalism, but down the line I know I will call West. 30th and Lorain my place of work.
To be back where I became so much of who I am now reminded me of the lessons I learned there that I will carry forward in my final years of undergrad and into my career. I will attempt to live my life Ad majorem dei gloriam, and in doing so, will carry on that timeless Kairos motto: Live the Forth.
Some people might not understand why I feel so passionate about my high school, especially since many people dislike their high school experience or see high school pride as a refusal to grow up. However, if I can emphasize the importance my high school had on my formation as a person, maybe they can begin to comprehend it. I consider my four years of high school as the best four years of my life. During that time I met some of the most amazing friends, was guided by countless inspiring mentors, learned some extremely valuable lessons, was given the most incredible of opportunities, and carried on a family legacy which goes back to both of my grandfathers. That was high school for me; in a word, it was...indescribable.
My visit today was a reminder that it was always be a place where I can hang my hat, as one of my former theology teachers said. My conversation with the incomparable Fr. Frank Canfield was both invigorating and relaxing. The many other people I spoke with today reinforced my dream deferred: to return to my alma mater to teach and coach. Granted, I have decided to pursue another dream first in journalism, but down the line I know I will call West. 30th and Lorain my place of work.
To be back where I became so much of who I am now reminded me of the lessons I learned there that I will carry forward in my final years of undergrad and into my career. I will attempt to live my life Ad majorem dei gloriam, and in doing so, will carry on that timeless Kairos motto: Live the Forth.
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