It's weird when you are away from home for 5 straight months. The same stuff that was going on before you left is still going on, and new things are always happening that you miss out on. You hear about it, whether it be through conversations on the phone or text messages, and feel like an outsider to the place you call your own.
After talking on the phone with my mom this morning, I realized I am seriously deprived from my home. I need it, and I hope that the people there need me, too. This afternoon, although I am not going home, I am getting out of Marietta to go to a friend's home for a day or so. I know that this is not going to be the same for me, but I hope that getting a taste of someone's home will satiate my appetite enough to last me the next two weeks.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Too Much of a Good Thing
This afternoon, at crew practice, I realized I am becoming "burnt out" on rowing. It's not that I love it less, or that I am going to stop trying in my last two weeks of the season, but I am having a tough time enjoying it. I am surrounded by amazing people who make it bearable, and the anticipation of returning home on June 6th for the first time since January 7th is also a crutch for me.But at the same time, just hearing about the same technical mistake I haven't been able to figure out for weeks is driving me up the wall, and sort of believing that no matter what changes my teammates and I make to our strokes (for you non-rowing folk, the individual movements of the body and oar that make up the sport) we are unlikely to finish higher than last or second to last at the IRA is also a drain.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not usually a pessimist, but the facts clearly show that Marietta is not on par with Harvard, Princeton, and company. So I am trying to take these few weeks of practice and the June 2-4th races in Cherry Hill, New Jersey as opportunities to become a better rower, enjoy spending time with my teammates, and explore the world of competition of the IRA that few Marietta rowers have the opportunity to experience.
I am glad this year that I have found that I really do love rowing and want to make it a continual part of my life. I am also thrilled with the experiences I have had in rowing this year: taking 14th at the Head of the Charles, winning the Bill Braxton Memorial Trophy, re-claiming SIRA gold, and simply enjoying a crew of men I consider to be great friends and "lifelong allies." Considering that I was not sold on rowing as a permanent part of my college career at the beginning of both my freshman and sophomore years of college, I believe this year was one of much growth for me in finding my passions. I switched majors, didn't I?
So where do I go from here? Well, the immediate answer is to bed, since we have seat racing at 8am tomorrow morning (inter-squad races to determine which rowers are fastest). A bit more extended response is to Cherry Hill, NJ in two weeks to test our mettle at the IRA. But the answer I am embracing most is whatever comes next which, fortunately, Coach says is a couple week break from training. I do believe that you can have too much of a good thing, but now I also am convinced that rowing is always a good thing for me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not usually a pessimist, but the facts clearly show that Marietta is not on par with Harvard, Princeton, and company. So I am trying to take these few weeks of practice and the June 2-4th races in Cherry Hill, New Jersey as opportunities to become a better rower, enjoy spending time with my teammates, and explore the world of competition of the IRA that few Marietta rowers have the opportunity to experience.
I am glad this year that I have found that I really do love rowing and want to make it a continual part of my life. I am also thrilled with the experiences I have had in rowing this year: taking 14th at the Head of the Charles, winning the Bill Braxton Memorial Trophy, re-claiming SIRA gold, and simply enjoying a crew of men I consider to be great friends and "lifelong allies." Considering that I was not sold on rowing as a permanent part of my college career at the beginning of both my freshman and sophomore years of college, I believe this year was one of much growth for me in finding my passions. I switched majors, didn't I?
So where do I go from here? Well, the immediate answer is to bed, since we have seat racing at 8am tomorrow morning (inter-squad races to determine which rowers are fastest). A bit more extended response is to Cherry Hill, NJ in two weeks to test our mettle at the IRA. But the answer I am embracing most is whatever comes next which, fortunately, Coach says is a couple week break from training. I do believe that you can have too much of a good thing, but now I also am convinced that rowing is always a good thing for me.
Titles
So as a start to my venture into the world of journalism, I was encouraged to begin blogging. Writing takes practice, I know that. And having a blog gives me an excuse to write, to practice. So as I sat down tonight and tried to begin my blog I realized I could not begin without a title. I know the importance of a title, having learned freshman year of high school in Mr. Arko's Honors English I class that a title immediately sets you apart. In a sea of papers about the same subject, one with a unique title grabs the reader's interest (often a sleep-deprived, overwhelmed professor) and sets you off on the right path.
So what do I title my blog--a blog about no specific topic but whatever I choose to write. My mind whirred with different interests of mine (rowing, writing, Ireland, Cleveland) or anything that I thought could sum me up in a few words. As I laughed at myself for sitting up on a summer night, making a big deal in my head out of starting a blog, I was reminded of this previous semester where I took on too much and found myself overwhelmed at a level I had never previously thought possible nor survivable. At this I was reminded of a similar period in my life during the summer after my junior year of high school, when I didn't know where my life was taking me and simply felt confused. During that summer, on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic, a Jesuit priest gave me a book of prayers called Hearts on Fire: Praying with the Jesuits, and singled out for me the prayer "Patient Trust," by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ. Tonight I remembered the final lines from that prayer:
"Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete."
Recognizing that in the coming days, months, and years of my life I will experience more such periods of confusion due to an unfortunate inability to not jump at every opportunity, I decided the final words were appropriate for this blog. Plus, it doesn't hurt to leave things open for whatever writings this blog will hopefully see. If you do take the time to stop and read once in a while, thank you. I have learned a lot about being humble so I can use all the feedback I can get. For now, just encourage me to start writing.
So what do I title my blog--a blog about no specific topic but whatever I choose to write. My mind whirred with different interests of mine (rowing, writing, Ireland, Cleveland) or anything that I thought could sum me up in a few words. As I laughed at myself for sitting up on a summer night, making a big deal in my head out of starting a blog, I was reminded of this previous semester where I took on too much and found myself overwhelmed at a level I had never previously thought possible nor survivable. At this I was reminded of a similar period in my life during the summer after my junior year of high school, when I didn't know where my life was taking me and simply felt confused. During that summer, on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic, a Jesuit priest gave me a book of prayers called Hearts on Fire: Praying with the Jesuits, and singled out for me the prayer "Patient Trust," by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ. Tonight I remembered the final lines from that prayer:
"Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete."
Recognizing that in the coming days, months, and years of my life I will experience more such periods of confusion due to an unfortunate inability to not jump at every opportunity, I decided the final words were appropriate for this blog. Plus, it doesn't hurt to leave things open for whatever writings this blog will hopefully see. If you do take the time to stop and read once in a while, thank you. I have learned a lot about being humble so I can use all the feedback I can get. For now, just encourage me to start writing.
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